Enter the Catrix
by Mystitat
Summary: Cats fic When Macavity captures seven kittens and entraps them in the catrix, can Bill Bailey with the help of Mistoffelees harness his magical powers and save them? Loosely based on The Matrix, but you don't need to have seen it
1. Default Chapter

Enter the Catrix

By Mystitat

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A/N: Entire sentences in italics are telepathic speech. Single words are only italicized for emphasis. The telepathic speech used to be in brackets, but when I tried to upload, the brackets kept getting deleted, so now it's in italics.

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"Bill, Bill, wake up!" 

"What?" I answered groggily. "What is it? I was asleep. Whadja hafta wake me up for?"

"School, you knucklehead!"

I sat up bolt upright in bed. What time was it? I was going to be late for school. Again.

My kid sister Callie still stood next to me. "I thought Mom told you to set your alarm!"

"I did." Why was she still yelling at me? I was awake already. "Shouldn't you be at school?"

"Someone had to wake you up!"

Yeah. Whatever.

I rolled out of bed, pulled off my headphones, ran my fingers through my hair, and grabbed my bag. "Later," I called to the wench in the kitchen, who still trying to make something edible out of all the filth in the fridge. I thought she said something back, but I really didn't care.

"Mr. Bailey, your record is inexcusable."

I looked up to meet his gaze. Despicable. But I couldn't let him know I thought that.

"Mr. Bailey, maybe you have been going through tough times. But at the moment, I don't care. You hoodlems have been causing havoc at this school, and I won't tolerate it!" The principal started pacing around his desk. "You will not run around as you please! You must understand that there are standards! There are rules!"

"I was only late for class."

"Just one more grievance in a line of mistakes."

I gave up. He wasn't going to relent until hell froze over.

"You need to make a choice right now. Either you will conduct your manner in a way suitable to your position at this academy, or you will leave! Got it?!"

Academy? What was he talking about? This was public high school.

"GOT IT?!?!"

"Yes, sir." And before he could berate me any more, I hoisted up my pack onto one shoulder and headed for the door.

In the hallway, George, one of my "friends," was yelling at me. "Hey, Bill! Where have you been? You missed biology _and_ geometry! I thought you liked geometry, man!"

I really didn't want to talk, but I was obligated if I was going to keep my position on his online forum. "I overslept," I relunctantly replied.

"Oh, Ok. Fine. Don't tell me. I don't care." George really thought he could make anyone do whatever he wanted. Pathetic. "Are you going to 'oversleep' our chat session tonight, too?"

"No, I'm not."

"Good," George said, emitting that air of overconfidence again. "I'll talk to you tonight then."

"Yeah. Tonight."

When I finally got home, that old wench was still trying to cook something, so I stayed out of the kitchen. It would have been so nice if I could have just jumped into my window and avoided my "family" all together. Hmph. Some family we were. A single-mother and her two darling little brats living in a shack just a notch above a motor-home. Why couldn't I just move out?

I got to my room, and there it was, the only thing that mattered to me in the world. My computer. It was a beautiful work of art. A beefed-up mother board, awesome sound and video cards, more memory and storage than I could count to, three keyboards, two monitors, a 10,000 song mp3 library and stereo headphones meant I could block out the world. So what if I had scrounged most of it from spare parts and it looked like a dumpster with cables? It was mine.

"Meow?"

Oh, yeah. There was one other thing that mattered. My little black and white cat, Quaxo. What could I say? I had a soft spot for cats (not that I would let anyone know that). He wanted to be petted, so I lifted him up to my lap and unconsciously stroked him as I put on my headphones and fired up my "work of art."

Unfortunately, it wasn't working. Again. This just really wasn't my day.

"It's going to get worse, Bill."

"Hmm?" I called, absent-mindedly. "Callie, is that you?"

No answer.

"Huh." I gave up, pulled off my headphones, and put down Quaxo so I could go around to the back of my desk and check out the wiring.

"Hey, you were petting me! Come back!"

"Woah!" I spun around and stared at my cat. Was it just me, or was my cat talking to me?

"No, your cat is talking to you."

I couldn't believe my eyes! His lips were moving, and I heard sounds, but my cat was talking? This was beyond comprehension.

"Come on, don't you trust your senses?"

Okay. Weirder now. My cat was reading my mind.

"Uh, yeah," I stammered (to my cat?!). "I trust my senses."

Quaxo rolled his eyes (if it's possible for a cat to do that). "You shouldn't."

Sheesh. If this was a dream, I wished it would end right there.

"No such luck. But funny you should mention dreams." Quaxo leaped onto my chair and looked at me. "How would you know if this was a dream?"

"Uh, I guess I would wake up." The whole "my-cat-is-talking-to-me novelty had left me by then.

"But what if you couldn't wake up. What if you were stuck in a dream you couldn't wake up from? Would you even know it was a dream?"

"...." (Really, my mind was drawing a complete blank.)

"All right, I'll ask a question you can answer," Quaxo said, bounding to my desk to sit on one of my keyboards, now. "Do you like your life?"

"HECK NO!" I shouted. "I hate my life. I'd leave in a heartbeat if I could!"

"Oh good!" Quaxo smiled. "But in all fairness, I have to give you a choice." Now Quaxo, and don't ask me how, pulled out two cat treats. "Eat the sardine one," he said, "and you'll wake up from your dream. Eat the mouse one, and I'll give you a whole new chance at life."

I immediately went for the mouse, but Quaxo stopped me. "Now, I still have to warn you. All I can promise is that it's new. I can't say whether or not you'll like it."

Taking this warning into account for a moment, I considered it. Then I grabbed the mouse and crammed it down my throat as fast as I could. Somehow, it tasted oddly delicious.

"Don't say I didn't warn you." Quaxo whispered as everything went black.

"Munkustrap, he's awake."

"Good work, Mistoffelees."

Munkustrap? Mistoffelees?

I opened my eyes and tried to get my bearings. I was in a warehouse of sorts, but it was more like a funhouse, ya know, like from a carnival. Everything was HUGE! Like, three or four times bigger than it should have been. I sat in a chair, but the way I sat was unfamiliar and yet strangely comfortable. Then I realized I was sitting on top of all four limbs like I was a cat or something.

Sitting up, I stretched out my arms and yawned. Wherever I was, I hoped they had something to eat. I was starving. I could really go for a bird, or a shrew, or maybe a nice -

What the heck?!? What was I thinking?!? I could go for a bird?! I don't eat birds!

Now confused, I looked around again and really tried to figure out where I was. There before me stood two things. I said "things" because I couldn't exactly describe what they were. They were roughly shaped like people and stood on two legs, but they were covered in fur and had big ears on their heads like cats. They also appeared to both be male. One wore a collar. He was striped gray and black, and under normal circumstances, I would have said he was a tabby. The other was significantly smaller, black and white, and vaguely reminded me of Quaxo.

"Where am I?" I asked, hoping they spoke my language.

"You're in one of Macavity's warehouses, and we need to get you out of here as soon as possible." The tabby-one said. Without hesitation, they both grabbed me by the arms and started dragging me out of there. I tried to struggle loose, but I was too weak to resist. Eventually we got out of the building and stood out in the night air, in an alley that still had the carnival effect going for it.

"Wait, stop!" I tried to say, because this was really getting too weird. "Who are you? Where am I? And who's Macdadd...whoever you said?"

The smaller one glanced up at the tabby, then began to speak:

"Bill, I'm going to explain everything, but here is not a good place. You need to come back with us to our home." He looked over his shoulder, then back to me, grimaced, and said, "I told you you might not like it."

Then it finally hit me. "Quaxo?" I stuttered. "Is that you? You look so different!"

He smiled. "The cat's out of the bag. But I'm not the one you should be worried about. Look at yourself. Maybe you haven't noticed it yet, but you're kind of different, too."

I sighed (when were they gonna explain this to me?) and relunctantly scanned myself. But if Quaxo hadn't put his paw over my mouth, I would have screamed.

Holy #$#$#!#$#$!#$!

I WAS A CAT!!!!

(Okay, I would have admitted later, I was only as cat-like as the other two. I was covered in orange-colored fur on my back which spread to my front to mingle with my cream-colored chest. If I had had a mirror I could have told you that my face was mostly cream but my eyes were surrounded by orange patches that fanned out to cover the rest of my head. Speaking of my eyes, they were no longer my plain brown human eyes, but startling black cat-shaped eyes. I could still walk on two legs, but it was a different kind of walk, more of a strut. Not to mention I was still craving a bird, never mind how I might get one. I didn't want to think about that.)

My yelling came out more like, "Wht th fth hph!"

"Be quiet!" the taller cat was saying. "We are not out of danger yet. We need to get you back to our home. It's a junkyard, not far from here." He turned to Quaxo. "Mistoffelees, can you get us out of here now?"

"No," Quaxo (Mistoffelees?) replied. "It took all of my strength just to get him out of there. It's only because he's him that I'm not flat on my back right now."

"Then we'll have to get out of here the old-fashioned way." He turned back to me. "Be quiet and come with us."

By this time, I was too shocked and too confused to argue. Not to mention I was incredibly weak: it felt like I hadn't used my legs in years. I had to lean on the other two all the way there.

When we got there, there was mass pandemonium. All sorts of cat-like beings were yelling things like, "Munkustrap, Mistoffelees! You got him back! How have you been, Bill? Are you okay? Do you remember anything?" Then all of a sudden, I was pounced on from behind by a smallish cat with a brown streak that covered his left eye and part of his nose. "Billy!" he screamed at me (even though he was right on top of me!) "Do you remember me?!"

"GET THE #$ OFF OF ME!!" I shrieked. I tried to push him off, but I was still too weak. No matter, he soon crawled off, offended. (Maybe I shouldn't have swore at him, but he was screaming in my ears...)

"Pouncival, don't worry about him," the tall tabby who had helped me earlier said to the smaller one. "He only just woke up. He still doesn't really know who he is." He raised his voice and addressed the crowd. "If everyone would please go back to bed? Bill's been through a lot today, and he will be better able to handle you in the morning."

With that, the crowd began to disperse, and soon I was left with the same two I had started with.

"Much better," Quaxo said. "Now let's get you back to Munkustrap's lair."

"Munkustrap?" I said questioningly to the tall tabby. He nodded and led me to a giant, tattered old mustang convertible. Opening the door, he motioned for me to enter and sit down.

"Okay, now can someone please tell me what's going on?" I said, exasperated once we were all settled.

Quaxo looked to Munkustrap for permission, then began. "First, more important than what, is when. You think it's the year 1999. Actually, it's 1981. Also, you know me as Quaxo, but you might as well call me Mistoffelees. It's my second name. Quaxo is just what you named me. Although I might mention that you had quite an affinity for genuine cat names..."

"Oh, get on with it!" Munkustrap said.

"Fine, fine, all right." Quaxo, or Mistoffelees, I guess, said. He continued: "You know yourself to be the human Bill Bailey, a teenage punk with a computer obsession and an odd interest in cats. All of that, the entire life you have lived, is a lie. You are actually a cat, though your name is really Bill Bailey. You were kidnapped when you were one week old along with six other young kittens by an evil cat named Macavity. He used his magic to put you in the state we found you in, and that is how you have lived for the past two years."

"Magic?" I asked.

"Yes, magic. Why?" Mistoffelees looked confused.

I rolled my eyes. "Come on," I said. "There's no such thing as magic."

"Right," Mistoffelees retorted. "If there's no such thing as magic, explain this." He raised his paw in the air, and stared at it. I thought nothing was going to happen, but lo and behold sparks began to gather around it. They kept coming, swirling around his outstretched paw until they created a lightening storm in the car that even Munkustrap was starting to back away from. "Now do you believe in magic?"

"All right, all right," I said, even though I was still skeptical. I just wanted him to get on with the story.

"Anyway, back to Macavity," he continued. "Macavity wanted you out of the way, so you wouldn't be a threat to him later. He knew that one of you had extreme magical powers, and he didn't want to have to deal with you later, so he kidnapped all the kittens around the correct age and put you all in fixed stasis.

"Now, this fixed stasis is a tricky thing. It's a sort of virtual reality accessible by all magical cats. We affectionally call it the catrix. Macavity thought if he could get all you kittens into the catrix at a young age, you would never know the difference between it and the real world and you would simply live out your lives there. To top it off, he made you think you were all human, so you would never suspect anything. So, like I told you-"

"Wait a minute," I interrupted. "You said I was in there for two years. I'm eighteen years old!"

"Catrix time has no correlation with real world time, and don't interrupt me," Mistoffelees said. "You could spend one minute in the catrix, and it would be ten years here. Or vice versa: you could spend eighteen years in the catrix, and it would only be two here. It's all magic. No one can explain it, so don't ask."

"Okay," I said hesitantly. That at least made a little, if warped, sense. "What about those other cats? Are they still in there? And if only one of them is magic, how did they get in there?"

Munkustrap sighed and looked down. "They're still in there," he said.

"Then why haven't you gotten them out yet?" I asked.

Mistoffelees took a deep breath. "Okay, this is going to take some explaining. I told you Macavity is magic, right? Well, he's pretty good. Since he's so much older than any other magical cat known, he has a lot of power. A magical cat can take another cat into and out of the catrix, but it takes a tremendous ammount of energy, and it normally leaves the cat in question too weak to do anything once in the catrix (let alone get the other cat out), so it's not often done. To get six non-magical cats into the catrix, it took Macavity six weeks of deep magical concentration, and after that, he was out of commision for a couple months. I don't have nearly as much strength as he does, so it would be impossible for me to get out the other cats by myself. The only reason I got you out is because..."

"WHY?" I was really chomping at the bit, but I didn't care.

"...is because you helped me."

"HUH? How could I help you?" I was still confused. Hey, I never was a bright student.

"You're the one," Munkustrap said softly. "You are the one magical cat that Macavity kidnapped."

"Me? ME? I can't do _magic!" _I yelled, not caring if I woke up every other cat in the junkyard.

Mistoffelees peered around to see if anyone was staring. "Shush! Not so loud. And how do you know until you've tried?"

I just stared at him.

"Trust me," he said. "When the time comes, you will know. That's why we got you out first, though. We need you. You are the only one with enough power to get out the others. Will you help us?"

Help them? Why should I help them?! They just turned my life upside down. I had a good life! Well, no I didn't have a good life, but it was still better than being a cat! "You, you guys-" I stuttered, but as soon as I tried to stand up, my knees buckled under me. This was too much of a shock. My eyes rolled up into my head. My world was going black.

"He's going to pop," Mistoffelees said, worriedly.

Munkustrap grabbed my shoulders, saying, "Breathe, Bill, just breathe!"

It was too late. I blacked out.

I awoke to the sound of someone rustling around in my room. "Callie," I started to say, "Why are you in – oh, yeah." It was then that I realized that I was sleeping on an old couch cushion inside some box in a stupid oversized junkyard at night. Why me? I held up my hands, well, paws now, and looked at them. On a whim I extended my claws. They were sharp, sharp enough to kill. There was one nice thing, at least.

Movement registered on my left. There was still someone in the box with me. "Who's there?" I asked, because I wasn't used to the whole cats-can-see-in-the-dark thing.

"Don't worry, Bill, it's just me," A feminine voice answered back out of the darkness. "I'm sorry I woke you up. I'll go now."

"No, wait! Don't go! I don't even know your name." I called back. I knew this was really out of character for me, but I just thought I needed someone to talk to.

"Oh, I guess you wouldn't know my name, huh. Misto said you might not remember much." She came over to me and stepped into the moonlight coming through the top of the open box. She was a gorgeous girl, a very exotic beauty. She was completely brown, but her fur had a silvery sheen to it in the moonlight. But her eyes were the startling thing about her. One look into her eyes, and you felt as though you were looking at something deep, something ancient. Somethat that deserved reverence and preservation. Whoa.

"I'm Exotica," she purred.

Wow, Exotica. What a perfect name...

"I brought you something to eat. I didn't think you could have eaten recently, and Misto said you would be too weak to hunt for a while."

"Hunt?" I looked at her, confused.

"Yes, hunt. Why?" She actually had no idea what I meant. Although, I supposed, being a cat all her life, hunting would have come as easy to her as breathing.

"It's nothing. I guess I'm just still getting used to the idea that I'm a cat."

"Oh, all right," she said hesitantly. She handed me the bird (isn't it ironic?). "If you need anything, you can come find me. I usually sleep in the washing machine over there." She got up and started to leave.

"Wait," I said softly. She turned around. "Why are you doing this for me?" I asked.

She opened her mouth to speak, but then closed it again, as if she changed her mind. When she finally did say something, she said, "I guess because I want to. Goodnight." And with that, she left.

The next time I awoke, it was to the sun shining in my face. "Aw, man, I overslept again," I muttered to myself. "What time is it?"

"Actually, it's about noon."

Startled, I jumped to my feet, all four of them, and bared my claws instinctively.

"Whoa, chill out, it's okay, Bill. It's just me. Remember me?"

I looked. "Oh my gosh, Quaxo, that's the second time you've done that to me."

He smiled. "It's Mistoffelees, remember? But I guess you can call me Misto, too. Everyone does, even though I don't like it that much. Oh, and by the way, you can't really oversleep now. You're a cat. What are you going to be late for?"

I sighed. "Oh, yeah, huh."

"On a more solemn note," he said as he lowered his voice, "Munkustrap wanted me to come ask you again if you will help us."

I lied down on the cushion again and stared at the sky, contemplating. Luckily, Mistoffelees seemed to be in no hurry, and just sat down next to me.

"I can't go back to the way I was, can I?"

"If you could, would you?"

I paused for a moment, still thinking. "I guess not," I said. "It would be kind of silly, considering what I know now."

We sat there for another few minutes. I guess Mistoffelees was just waiting for me to say something.

"Yeah, I'll help you," I finally responded. It wasn't like I had anything better to do.

"Oh, good," he said, relieved. "You were starting to worry me. You are our only hope, you know."

Yeah, thanks for piling up the pressure, ol' buddy. I owe you one.

He continued: "So shall we get started?" he said brightly.

"With what?" I asked.

Mistoffelees shrugged. "Your training?" He stood up and turned around, about to walk out of the box, but I stopped him.

"Ah, one moment. I thought you said I would be really weak for a while."

He looked at me, confused. "Who told you that?"

"Exotica."

"Oh. Huh." He put a paw to his chin, as if in thought. "Actually, I told most of the other cats that because, if they knew how little you actually know about being a cat, they might have been scared. I thought it would be more prudent for me to just teach you. Ya' know?"

"So, you're going to _train_ me how to be a cat?"

He stalled for a moment. "Well, I _am_," he said, purposefully not looking at me, "But that's not _quite_ what I meant by training."

My eyes widened. "You mean – you're going to – to teach me to –"

He nodded. "Yeah," he said, and twiddled his thumbs (if he had thumbs...). "Magic."

"But I already told you–"

"And I already told you, you never know until you try." He smirked. "Besides, how could you possibly know anyway? You've only been a cat for about fourteen hours."

I frowned at him; he smiled back.

"Let's go," he said, and started leading me toward...well, I didn't know where we were going.

"By the way," I said as I picked my way over cans and bottles and other assorted garbage. "What's with the walking on two legs thing? And the sorta human stuff you, uh, we do?"

"Oh! I guess you wouldn't know." Mistoffelees responded. "Humans see us cats as you know us to be: four-legged animals. We see ourselves as being almost human, so that's how we appear to be around each other."

"So, a human would still see me as being a plain old cat?"

"Yep."

"Ah," I muttered. "Oh, there was one other thing I've been meaning to ask you. You were _my_ cat for four years, well, in the, uh, catrix, at least. But you talk to other cats here like you've been with them the whole time. How's that?"

"Well," he said as he went around a tire, "I have been here the whole time, or at least, it would seem like that to them. You see, for the past month or so I've been going in and out of the catrix quite often, to be 'your cat' as you say. For you, in the catrix, that month was like four years. I was trying to get really close to you, to see if you were really the kidnapped kitten with magic."

"And you knew?"

"Yep. You're the one." He stopped walking.

"And you're sure?"

"Positive. I'm never wrong when it comes to magic stuff, Bill. Trust me."

I was still hopelessly confused. "But if Macavity was looking for magic kittens, why didn't he get you?"

"Don't worry about it. I'll explain later. In the meantime, we're here!"

I looked around. "Um, Mistoffelees, we're still in the junkyard."

"I know that! We're right were we were going! Welcome to my lair!"

I looked again. We stood outside of a sewer pipe. "Are you sure? Looks kind of dirty. And wet."

"Of course I'm sure," he mused. "I know where I live. Go inside. It's cleaner on the inside."

I reluctantly picked up my feet and stepped into the unknown.

Ugh.

To my horror, Mistoffelees said, "Have a seat. I'll be ready in a minute." He walked off toward the back of the pipe (although, to a cat, I guess it really qualified as a sizable tunnel).

"That's okay, I'll stand, thanks." I muttered to no one but myself, even though it was actually pretty clean inside. For a pipe, it was pretty well stocked, too. The walls were lined with shelves that held either books or glassware. Most of the glassware was full of creepy looking, uh, potions, I guess they were. Going to one of the shelves, I peered at the contents. It had books with titles ranging from _The Art of Poofing: A Guide to Teleportation _to _Chicken Soup for the Magical Cat's Soul _to _Potion Mixing for Fun and Profit. _Yeesh. Remind me not to shop at his bookstore...

"What are you looking at?" Mistoffelees queried as he returned from wherever he had been. "Were you looking at my books?" I nodded unwillingly. "Oh, okay. That's fine. You're allowed to see my books. With anyone else, I would have said 'no'. I can just see Etcetera looking for a love spell to try on Tugger..." he trailed off, giggling.

"Wait, why am I allowed to see your books, and not other people, er, cats?"

"Well, you are a magical cat, aren't you?" he said like it should have been obvious.

It wasn't worth arguing. I had a feeling he'd win anyway. "I suppose so."

"Good. Now have a seat, please," he said, indicating a small mat on the ground that I had missed earlier.

I sat down like a good little kitten and he fetched a mat for himself. Sitting across from me, he began, "Now, Munkustrap would have said I have to start you out with the basics: meditation, charms, runes, the whole bit. But, that's major _boring_, so why don't we start with something more fun?" He held up his left paw and smirked as a few sparks revealed themselves to be floating around it. Then he raised his right paw to be on level with the left. Miniature lightning darted between them as a big goofy grin spread across his face.

"Lightning? I'm gonna learn, lightning?" I stammered.

Before saying anything, Mistoffelees smirked again and pointed a finger at me. Without warning, lightning leapt the distance between it and my nose.

"Holy #$&!" I yelled when my head stopped spinning.

"Hey, I think he likes it!" that devil said, knowingly. "Does he want some more?"

"Hell, yes!"

Five lightning strikes (and two nosebleeds) later, Mistoffelees finally said, "Okay, that should be enough. You know what lightning feels like now, am I right?"

"You can say that again!" My mind was still reeling from the last one. It was astonishing how something that seemed so threatening could feel so exhilerating!

"All right, now close your eyes," he said softly, almost whispering. I unwittingly obeyed. "Close your eyes, and free your mind. Let it flow throughout your entire being. Search yourself for that feeling. The feeling of a lighting strike. Have you found it?" I nodded without opening my eyes. "Good. Take that feeling, and let it flow to your paws. Hold them up in the air now." I did so. "Good. Let the feeling flow between your outstretched paws. Just let it flow through them." He paused for a minute. "Bill," he said when he finally spoke again, "Open your eyes."

When I did, I was startled to see a storm raging between my own paws. Suddenly, lightning was threatening again, and, terrified, I waved my paws around wildly to try to shake off whatever was making them do that. I must have done something weird, because all of a sudden, lightning was shooting away from me in all directions! "Oh, shoot," I muttered when it was all gone. I really didn't want to look around; I was afraid of what I might have broken.

"It's okay," Mistoffelees said. "That always happens the first time. It doesn't mean anything." He stared at me. "You can look, you know."

"Did I break much?"

"No, nothing."

Huh? Confused, I looked around. The tunnel seemed unchanged from when I had entered. Nothing was broken. "How...?" I began.

"We're surrounded by a bubble of protective magic," he said cooly. "That's why I brought you here for your first lessons. It's much easier to put up a shield here than anywhere else, because my home is attuned to my magic. As soon as your lightning hit the barrier, it dissipated. So nothing was broken." He smiled. "Shall we continue?"

By the end of the afternoon, Mistoffelees called a halt. We were both exhausted: me from using my fledgling powers, and him from pouring strength into his barrier. At least it had served a purpose. I learned how to shoot lightning, teleport, levitate things, and create illusions. "That's enough for today," Mistoffelees panted when I would have wanted to go on. "I'm tired, you're tired. If you try to do more today you'll only make yourself sick."

"All right," I said reluctantly. "But just one more question?" He raised his eyebrows, as if to say, what?. "Where do you find something to eat around here?"

"Oh, yeah. Uh, that'll be another lesson for tomorrow. In the meantime..." He stared at the ground between us and out of nowhere two rats appeared. He deftly put them out of their misery and handed one to me. My eyes must have been the size of silver dollars, a considerable feat for a cat. "What?" he asked.

"Oh, nothing," I drawled. I decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth and gingerly _tasted the rat_. Being a cat was really going to take a lot of getting used to.

"You can go now, if you want." Mistoffelees said, getting up, still munching on his meal. He started to walk back toward the end of the pipe. "Oh, one more thing," he said, turning around. "I wouldn't try to shoot lightning at any other cats, not unless you want to kill them. It may feel good to you and me, but trust me, it won't to anyone else." He started to walk off again.

I was speechless for a moment. "Wait a minute!" I called back to him when I finally found the words. He turned around; I grimaced. The rat's tail was sticking out of his mouth. _Gross_. I rolled my eyes and asked, "How did you know lightning wouldn't hurt me?"

He swallowed, and said, "Haven't we gone over this? I knew you had magic!"

"So if you were wrong, you could have killed me?!" Needless to say, I was a little angry.

"Well, technically yes, I could have hurt you. But that's only if I was wrong. I knew I was right. And I'm telling you, there's no mistaking a magical cat when you see one." And with that, he disappeared into the end of the pipe, leaving me alone with all the books and potions.

Well.

When I finally got back to the box I had slept in the night before, I collapsed on the couch cushion. If only I could sleep. But the excitement of doing magic for the first time was still running through my veins. Who would ever have supposed that _I_ was cappable of doing things like that? As a human, the only joy I had ever found was in getting away from the world and isolating myself in with my computer, and maybe with my cat. I chuckled. It was kind of ironic, huh? I finally knew the reason why I liked cats so much. I _was_ a cat.

Unfortuately, being a cat was going to mean getting over some human priorities. Like cooking food. I stared at the rat I still held in my hand. Mistoffelees had killed it by breaking its neck, so at least it wasn't bleeding all over me. But, really, there had to be a better way of getting sustenance than eating raw meat! Well, then again, I was a cat, so maybe my taste buds were less refined. Oh well, I had to try...

chomp

Okay, maybe that wasn't so bad. I took another bite, trying not to let rat blood spew all over my face. As it was, it was going to take a while to clean my paws.

"Is he awake?"

"I dunno, I can't see through cardboard!"

Someone was apparently outside my box. "Who's there?" I called, setting down the partially eaten rat.

Out of nowhere two sets of eyes peeped over the edge of the cardboard to stare at me. One I recognized as the smallish cat who pounced on me my first night. I thought his name was Pokeball, or something like that. I didn't recognize the other one, but he seemed to be a mirror image of the other in the way of facial markings.

"Hey, he's awake!" the Poke-whatever cat practically screamed. Apparently, he prefered ear-splitting shrieks to using a normal voice.

"Yeah, I'm awake. Though I wasn't planning on staying that way until you two showed up." Maybe it was a little harsh, but still, I was hungry and tired, and I rather wanted to be left alone. My computer would have been really nice right about then...

"Really?" the other asked. "But it's only, like, sunset! Don't you wanna run around or something?"

Oh my gosh. How could they want to run around? "Shouldn't you be in bed? Because that's where I want to be. Asleep!"

"You mean, you sleep at night?" (Pokeball was genuinely confused.)

"Well, when do you sleep?" (So was I.)

"Whenever we want!" the two _annoying_ cats chorused.

A maternal voice punctuated the conversation. "Pouncival! Tumblebrutus! What are you doing!"

"Nothing, Jennyanydots," they said, again in unison, as if they had said it many times before.

"No, I can see you are looking at something!" Jennyanydots (I guess) said. "Now tell me what it is!"

Pokeball sighed. "It's just Bill," he said.

"BILL!" (Apparently Jennyanydots also had an affinity for screaming.) "Jelly, come quick! He's over here!"

"Really?! How did you find him?!" A voice somewhere in the distance yelled back.

"I didn't! Tumble and Pouncival did!" (When were they going to give my tired ears a rest?!)

"Move, you two, let me see!" The other maternal voice said. Pokeball and his mirror image were pushed aside, and two older female cats took their places. "Can you believe it, Jenny? He's all grown up!"

"Uh, hi. I didn't really –"I began, before I was cut off.

"It seems like only yesturday we were babysitting him and telling him not to eat garbage," the orange-er cat said.

I tried again. "Wait a minute, do I even –"

"It seems like only this morning we were changing his litter box!" The taller one responded.

It seemed like they were determined not to listen to a word I said!

Suddenly, the orange one looked concerned. "Jelly, look at how dirty he is! You'd think he didn't know how to wash!"

The same look became visible on the other's face. "You're right! And he's been away from the junkyard for a long time. He could be hurt!"

"You're right! We must get him to the Jellicle Infirmary!" And without warning they overturned my box, spilling me out onto the ground, picked me up, and hauled me off to who knows where. I would have struggled, but the exhaustion of too much use of magic was still running through me, so I had to be content to be carried.

When we got to who knows where, they opened the door of what was apparently the Jellicle Infirmary (it was really just an old car with the front seats removed) and set me down on the backseat. Now, all this time, I had been protesting their handling of me, but it had fallen on deaf ears (maybe that would explain why everyone loved yelling so much...). Now they turned their attention to me.

"Jelly, give him some anesthetic; I can't examine him while he's complaining like this!"

Well, at least I had gotten them to listen, sort of.

Before I realized what she was doing, the cat (Jelly?) had covered my face in a smelly rag, and I was on the one-way express to sleepy land.

I awoke to the sound of muttering coming from the two motherly queens and the first rays of sunlight coming through the windows of the car. Peering around, I noticed that they were chatting in the front of the car with their backs turned to me. This was my chance to escape!

I started to rise, but soon realized that they might hear me. Trying to figure out a way out without them noticing, I remembered all the work I had done the day before. Sleep had restored my strength, so I thought back to yesturday when Mistoffelees was explaining how to teleport. He had said, "Teleportation is one of the easier tricks to do. All you have to do is think of a place in your mind, and throw all of yourself into thinking only about being in that place." Keeping that in mind, I tried to think of a place where I would be safe from those freaks in the front of the car. I could think of only one place.

I closed my eyes and thought of nothing but being in Mistoffelees' pipe (it was the only place in the junkyard I knew well enough to imagine and that would probably be safe from Jenny and Jelly). It took a few tries, but before long the fizzy feeling I was coming to associate with my magic spread through me. It fizzed through my arms and legs and fizzed up into my brain where it took notice of what I wanted. There, it became smoke that spread all around me, completely blanketing me from the outside world. When the smoke cleared, I found myself right where I wanted to be, right outside Mistoffelees' pipe. There was no time to lose. Making sure no one had seen me, I darted inside. Sanctuary!

Mistoffelees seemed to have been chatting with two other cats as I entered. When he noticed me, he called, "Hey Bill! Wow, you look a lot cleaner than you did yesturday!"

Completely ignoring the comment and the other two cats, I flew over to him, got him between me and the entrance, and whispered, "Hide me!" Mistoffelees burst out laughing.

This was funny how? I was serious!

"Bill, what am I hiding you from?" Mistoffelees choked out as he overcame the giggles.

"A couple old queens with way too much time on their hands," I whispered, still staring at the entrance to make sure I wasn't being followed.

Mistoffelees smacked his forehead. "Oh, duh! No wonder you look so clean! You just met Jennyanydots and Jellylorum!"

"I don't care what their names are," I said. "I just don't want them to find me again!"

"Well, that shouldn't be a problem," Mistoffelees replied, removing himself from my embrace. "You're actually right on time. Meet Coricopat and Tantomile. They have powers, too, but it's more along the lines of psychic than magic. Coricopat is male, and Tantomile is female." He gestured to the cats he had been talking with when I entered. They only nodded solemnly (perfectly synchronized). Wow, they were creepy. They looked identical, and they must have been twins, but that wasn't the creepy thing about them. There was something, you could see it in their eyes. Like they knew everything worth knowing. Like I said, creepy.

"Hi," I said slowly. Turning back to Mistoffelees, I asked, "Right on time for what?"

"Oh, well, I was planning on teaching you something, shall we say, new, today, and I thought it would be best if I could have a cat or two on the outside with whom we can communicate while we do it."

I took a break from being scared of the two evil queens to ponder what he had just said. Outside? "Uh, Misto? What are we doing?"

He smiled evily. "We're going to enter the catrix."

As Mistoffelees made preparations, I sat on the ground in silence. He was serious, wasn't he? He was going to make me face the world I had lived in all my life. Even though I knew it wasn't real, it still felt real. Some part of me still felt that I would wake up from everything, like it was a bad dream. My alarm clock was going to go off at any minute, and Callie would run into my room and yell at me for being late for school again, like she did everyday. Only now I knew there was no such person as Callie, only an image in a world that didn't really exist.

"Ready?" Mistoffelees asked.

I shook my head.

"Is something wrong?" This time it was Coricopat.

"It's nothing," I lied. I didn't want to go in, but I also wanted to get it over with. I stood up and asked, "What do I do?"

"The process is a lot like teleporting, though the end result is completely different," Mistoffelees explained. "I'll go first, so you can see what happens, then I'll come back and take you with me."

As I watched, he sat down on the floor of the pipe and leaned against the wall. His eyelids lowered, but I could tell his eyes were still moving underneath. Suddenly, his entire body went rigid, then relaxed, and a faint glow appeared around him.

"He's in," Tantomile murmured.

"Really?" I asked. He looked kind of out of it, if you asked me.

Suddenly, a voice appeared in my head. _Hey, Tantomile, Coricopat, can you hear me?_ I shrieked and ducked, covering my ears and cowering from the unexpected sound.

_We can hear you._ Coricopat's voice was in my head now.

Tantomile knelt over me, concerned. _Bill can hear you, too, Mistoffelees,_ she said, or thought, I guess.

"Mistoffelees? That's just Mistoffelees?" I asked as I looked up again. Tantomile nodded. Phew! I thought I was going crazy for a minute there.

_Bill can hear me?_ That's odd. That was Mistoffelees again.

"Hi Misto! Where are you?" I called out loud, trying to respond.

Misto's voice came into my head again. _Tell him to try saying something to me. _

"I just did!"

"He can't hear you," Coricopat said aloud.

Tantomile continued, "Picture Mistoffelees in your mind, and think what you want to say."

"All right..." I said. Taking this into consideration, I conjured up the image of Misto in my head, and thought _Can you hear me now? _

_That's good!_ Misto said (or I guess I could say, "he thought"). _I'm coming back now. Get ready guys. _

"What does he mean, get –" I started, but I was shushed by Coricopat. He and Tantomile moved to either side of Misto. All of a sudden, Mistoffelees' body rocked violently, so much that he might have hurt himself if Coricopat and Tantomile hadn't held him steady. After about twenty seconds, the convulsions stopped, and he suddenly gasped for air. He sat there for a mintute, breathing heavily, then looked at me expectingly. "That happens every time?!" I practically yelled. I was starting to think maybe I should have stayed with Jenny and Jelly.

Mistoffelees grimaced. "Well, that happens to _me_ every time. I don't know what will happen to _you._ It's different for everyone. Well, are you ready?"

I grimaced. That wasn't reassuring. "I guess so. But wait a second," I stopped him. He turned around. "How come I could hear you when you were in there? Did you know I would?"

He pondered a moment, still sitting on the floor. "No, I didn't think you would be able to hear me, which is why I didn't warn you. I guess the only explanation is that you have psychic as well as magical powers."

"Huh?"

"Think of it this way," he said. "There are magical cats, and there are psychic cats. They both have supernatural powers, but they can do different things. Magical cats, like me, can do cool tricks. Psychic cats, like Coricopat and Tantomile and he gestured to them, are telepathic. They can communicate to each other, using only their minds. They can also speak to and hear the thoughts of a magical cat. A magical cat cannot speak telepathically with another magical cat. One of them has to be telepathic. A cat without any sorts of powers can't hear it at all. I _thought_ you were a magical cat, and you are (because you can do tricks like I can), but you must have psychic powers as well, or else you wouldn't have been able to hear me."

"Oh, ok." I muttered. I supposed that made sense.

"Good, let's go. You can lie down, or sit up. Which do you prefer?" Mistoffelees asked.

He just wasn't giving me a chance to argue. "I'll sit," I said, and took a seat next to him. "What do I have to do?"

"Well, the first time, I'm just going to draw on your power and take you with me. To get into the catrix by yourself, you have to be able to picture it, and to picture it, you have to know what it looks like. If I were instructing you the _correct_ way, I would be having you meditate for hours until you find the place in your mind where you can be anywhere you want, but that takes too long. I'm cheating, but it really doesn't matter." He put his paw on my shoulder. "Don't worry about it. You're going to be fine. All you have to do right now is close your eyes and let me draw on your strength. Okay?"

"Okay," I said shakily. I closed my eyes. He kept his paw on my shoulder, and soon I felt like it was attatched there, like it was a part of me. Like Mistoffelees was an extension of myself. In that moment, I somehow saw what was in his mind. There was a mix of confidence and nervousness. He was telling himself that this was going to work.

Great. That was encouraging.

As he kept his paw on my shoulder, the fizzy feeling of my magic spread up through me to mix with the rushing river of Misto's magic. It was weird. My magic fizzed, but his rushed. Go figure. Anyway, soon enough I felt myself being pulled. But my body wasn't being pulled. It was my mind. My mind was being pulled from my body to a higher place. It was a place my mind wanted to be. It felt natural, comfortable. Like I had lived my entire life there.

"You can open your eyes now, Bill. We're here."

I cautiously peeped one eye open, then the other. We were there. We were in the world where I had lived my entire human life. Only this time, I wasn't human. I was a cat. Specifically, we were in a grassy field, like a park. Actually, I remembered the park! This was where my mom always took me and Callie after my dad...

Oh, yeah. Unpleasant memories. I didn't want to think about my human family.

_We're in._ Mistoffelees thought to the two telepaths on the outside.

_Good. Let us know when you are going to come back._ Tantomile and Coricopat thought together (they really were very creepy).

_We will. See you then._

"So, this is it?" I asked when he finished.

Mistoffelees nodded, looking around at the people sitting around the large fountain in the center of the square, surrounded by trees. "The catrix," he said, "Was devised as a world where us magical cats could practice and mess around without affecting the real world. They used to hold meetings here, too, but then Macavity came around. Since he overpowered all of the others, they didn't want to meet somewhere where he could find them easily."

"Really? There are other magical cats?" Wow. He never told me about others!

"Well, most of us like to keep low, because if Macavity found one of us, he'd kill him." Mistoffelees kept his head low. "Macavity does _not_ appreciate competition. That's why he got you so early."

"Oh." Oops. It sounded like I'd hit a sore spot. But my curiosity got the best of me. "Um, does Macavity know I'm not in here anymore? Well, as a human?"

"Yeah, he does," Mistoffelees said. "I'm not sure if he knows that I got you out, or that I'm training you. But we're going to stay away from most of the places you went as a human. Macavity will be keeping tabs on them. I thought this park would give you a nice place to think about when you try to come in alone. I don't think you ever went here."

"Hmm. I guess so," I lied. Mistoffelees must not have known much about my childhood. Or that I had actually come here quite often, before I found the refuge of my computer. Oh well, I didn't really want to tell him now. We were already there, after all.

Mistoffelees looked at me expectingly. "Well, now that you know how it is in here, let's go back, and you can try to come in on your own. Okay?"

I stopped. "Wait a minute. Isn't something weird going to happen to me when come back?"

"Yes, but it can't be helped." Misto had a weird look on his face as he said this. Nervousness combined with oh-well-ness. "You're going to have to come out of it eventually, so why not now?"

"Oh, fine." He did have a point. "What do I have to do _now_?" I asked with more than a hint of sarcasm.

Ignoring the sarcasm, he responded, "Right now, your mind is seperated from your body. They want to reconnect. All you have to do is reconnect them. It's really not hard to do."

Easy for you to say, I thought. "All right. Here goes." I close my eyes and thought about my body. At first, all that came to mind was my human body, but then common sense took over, and my cat body came to mind. To my surprise, Mistoffelees was right: my mind really did want to reconnect with my body. I almost effortlessly came back to the real world.

Unfortunately, the transition was a little less effortless. Although I did find out what happens to me when I come back.

I sat on the ground for about five minutes. Sneezing.

"Ouch," I muttered after a tissue was thrust under my nose. Sneezing so much really did hurt. I looked up to thank whoever had given my runny nose relief.

To my surprise (and delight), it was Exotica! "Hey, what are you doing here?" my dumbstruck brain finally found the words to ask. She had really given me a _good_ impression the night she found me in the box.

"I couldn't find you anywhere else, so I figured you must be here with Mistoffelees, learning something new." She looked around at those assembled. "It seems I was right."

Now I was dazed _and _confused. "Um, how'd you know he was teaching me?" People, er, cats, really seemed to know a lot of things I didn't. I felt like I was forever asking questions.

Mistoffelees answered, "Exotica is one of my few confidants. She's actually a magical cat too, though few others ever realize it."

"REALLY?" I almost yelled. I had been surprised too much today already.

She shied away a little. "Well, a little bit. Not really. All I can do is turn myself invisible and change the pattern of my fur. I'm nowhere near as good as the great Magical Mister Mistoffelees," she said as she glanced at him.

Mistoffelees only shrugged and rolled his eyes a little bit. The effect was one of humility, but you could tell he really wanted to accept as much praise as he could possibly get. Changing the subject (somewhat reluctantly), he said, "Actually, Bill and I were just about to make the jump into the catrix again. Wanna come?"

We were?

"Sure, I'd love to come."

We were...

I was feeling quite content until an unfamiliar sound disrupted me. Suddenly confused, I looked around to discover the source of the noise. I didn't find it, but Exotica had raised her eyebrows and Mistoffelees looked like he was stifling giggles (Coricopat and Tantomile wore their usual nonchalant expressions). I didn't want to say anything out loud, so I asked Mistoffelees in a way through which only he would hear me. _What the heck is so funny? _

_You were purring..._ he thought back. I thought I heard laughter in the background of his mind.

I was what?! (If you had seen the look on my face, you would have been laughing, too.)

_I told you, you were purring! Can I please laugh now?_ He looked like he was about to explode.

Fortunately, Exotica had heard nothing of this unpleasant little conversation. "Um, guys," she asked, "Do you mind clueing me in?"

Man, I was going to kill that #$'n black 'n white cat for ever bringing me out of...

Mistoffelees' thoughts interupted mine again. _Bill, chill out. You're a cat now. You can purr. It's okay._ The giggles subsided and he gave me a meaningful look. _Hey, between you and me, I think she likes you, too. So everyone wins. Let's go, okay? _

"Fine," I said aloud. To Exotica, I said, "It's nothing. I'm ready to go now."

"Oh, good. Me too." She smiled and lied down on the ground. "Let's go," she said, looking up at me. Ooooh, she really was exotic...

Mistoffelees smiled knowingly and lied down next to her. When he saw the alarmed look on my face, he explained, "Exotica doesn't have enough magic to get into the catrix on her own. She needs someone to take her in and out. I'll do that. Your job is to get yourself in. Okay?"

I sighed. Sheesh, ever the insightful instructor. It was a good thing he had a reason for lying down there, especially when he knew that _I _liked her. "All right," I said, and lied down on the _other_ side of her. It was hard, but I managed to keep my emotions under control this time. I didn't even purr.

Well, maybe a little purr. But it was a manly purr.

She smiled, leaned her head back, and closed her eyes. Coricopat and Tantomile took positions on either side of the three of us, for some reason that I did not know. Mistoffelees put a paw on Exotica's shoulder and closed his eyes as well. Suddenly, they both stiffened, and relaxed in perfect synchronicity. I guessed that was my cue to do the same.

Now what Misto said to do? I thought it was something like teleporting, so that's what I set out to do. I closed my eyes and thought of nothing but being in the catrix. My power fizzed around through me as it always did when I called upon it, and sensed what I wanted it to do. It seemed to take over completely, like I was running on autopilot. Before I knew it, my muscles stiffened involuntarily and I was off in another world.

I opened my eyes, and found myself in the same park that I was in earlier that day. Looking around, I noticed people sitting around the central fountain, rollerbladers showing off, even an old guy harrassing some school girls (they actually looked like they were having fun; must have been from out of town). Just your average, everyday, inner-city park.

I finally saw Mistoffelees and Exotica and trotted on all fours over to them (since humans were around, we were acting more like the human perception of cats than we normally would). My two friends seemed to be simply chatting and observing the people gathered in the park. Upon seeing me, Mistoffelees called, "Hey, Bill, recognize that guy?"

I looked over to where he was motioning and saw none other than George, my old "friend" from school (among other places). He was sitting under a tree, with some of his buddies, smoking weed and getting high, the same way we always used to to escape classes or whatever else was bugging us at the moment. "Just like old times," I said.

Mistoffelees smirked. I was learning that when he smirked, he was about to show off that he was right about yet another thing. Lo and behold, my presumption was right on target. "George," Misto announced with a flourish, "Is none other than one of the other cats we are trying to save from the catrix."

"Really?!" I gasped. That was hard to believe. George, a guy I had known for a while, and who was sort of my friend, was really a cat? Kind of convenient that we knew each other, huh. Though come to think of it, he was a little cat-like. He was reclusive most of the time, and didn't like to do anything he didn't really have to do to live. He also was nocturnal for the most part, staying up all night on the internet, doing who knows what. Not to mention he even looked like a cat, a little bit. He had pretty high cheekbones, and his eyes were an odd shape and an even odder color. He spiked his hair into what could have been called cat ears. Now that I knew what he really was, it was hard to believe I hadn't thought of it before!

"Yep, really," Mistoffelees went on. "He's one of the kittens Macavity catnapped two years ago. Although I suppose he's not a kitten any more. He's actually about a month older than you are, not that it makes much of a difference."

An odd thought crossed my mind. "Hey, Misto," I asked. "Why don't you just get the George out like you did with me?"

"Well, I kind of don't know where his body is. I have to be in physical contact for that to work. Not to mention that it takes an enormous amount of energy to get a non-magical cat out of the catrix."

"Oh," I said turning around to get a better view of the park. But then another odd thought crossed my mind. I turned back to face Misto and asked, "How did you know where my body was, then?"

Mistoffelees rolled his eyes. He was apparently getting tired of answering all these questions. "You remember that cat treat you ate?" I nodded. "It helped me locate you. I couldn't really go up to a total stranger and tell him to eat a cat treat, now could I?" I shook my head. Misto nodded and gazed around. "Nope, all he'll take is ciggarrettes and booze."

I actually smiled. "Yeah," I muttered. "I used to do that with him here all the time. Now, being here like this, it's kind of like deja vu." Content, I curled up and settled down to rest my eyes for a minute.

"What did you say?" Exotica queried. (She actually scared me a little bit. I had almost forgotten she was even there.)

I wasn't worried, though. "It's just a little deja vu," I said. "Nothing to worry about."

However, she and Mistoffelees did seem kind of worried. "Wait a minute," Mistoffelees said, "You mean you used to come here with George?!"

"Yeah, all the time. Why?" I really didn't see what they were getting so worked up about. I just wanted to relax.

"WHY?! We have to get out of here right now, that's why!" Mistoffelees screamed. "Now! Start thinking of your body right now!" He immediately grabbed Exotica's shoulder and closed his eyes, but it was evident that he wasn't putting his whole self into it. Something was on his mind that prevented him from putting his whole self into the spell. He trembled, but he didn't go anywhere. Mistoffelees was not going to be leaving any time soon. As he opened his eyes, a look of pure terror spread across his face.

"We're stuck."

"Stuck? What do you mean, 'we're stuck.'" I hoped the confusion on my face was evident.

Mistoffelees gulped. "I mean, we're stuck. We can't get out of the catrix." His eyes stayed fixed on the ground a little bit away from him, as if he couldn't bring himself to look at me. He wouldn't move a muscle, either. He was completely frozen in shock.

Exotica was having the opposite problem. She was extremely nervous, biting her nails and shaking all over. Occasionally she would phaze in and out, or an out-of-place stripe would make its mark over her fur, as though her power was out of her control and doing whatever it wanted. I stepped over to her and held her in my arms (if I hadn't been so worried about what I was going to say next, I would have enjoyed the embrace much more). "Misto," I asked carefully, "You can get us out, can't you?"

Leaves in the trees rustled, and children giggled playfully, but it was all a distant dream to the three of us.

Mistoffelees said nothing.

Fortunately for us, the question was soon answered for him.

_No, he can't get you out._ A sinister, oily voice inked its way into my mind. It felt like it was oozing its way into the cracks and crevices of my brain, and it felt awful. From the moans of Mistoffelees and Exotica, I could tell they heard it, too. The voice went on. _I warned you, Mistoffelees, not to interfere with my designs. Now you are helpless to stop me. You know you shouldn't have gotten them into this. Now look what you've done!_ it said in phony sympathy.

Through clenched teeth Mistoffelees uttered, "Macavity."

As if in response, a cloud of orange smoke materialized in front of us. It puffed itself up to the correct size, then dissipated. Before us, in all his splendor, stood that most evil of cats.

Macavity.

"Well, well, well! What do we have here?" he remarked as he strode around us, totally nonchalant. "It seems that my little Bill has grown up and discovered that the story I put in place for him was not real!"

Ignoring his little speech, I cried "Why can't we get out of here?" (yep, that's me! always asking stupid questions...)

"Oh! Aren't we the curious cat!" he sneered with fake interest. "Well, why don't I let Mistoffelees answer that?" (For such an evil cat, he sure sounded cheerful.) Macavity looked questioningly over to Mistoffelees, who only gave him the stink eye. "No? Ah, well, I guess I'll have to explain then." He smiled and continued circling around our little group. "You see, I've been looking all over in here for some sign of you. I knew that as soon as you came back into the catrix (because I knew my little Misto couldn't resist taking you in), you would want to go back to some of your favorite places! Therefore, I was not terribly surprised to find you here. It was child's play to put a dampener on the three of you, preventing you from using magic correctly." He stopped pacing and turned to me. "So you see, you're not going anywhere!"

_He's wrong._ I was so absorbed in Macavity's speech that Mistoffelees surprised me. _Bill, you can get out! _

_I can?_ I replied, careful to keep staring at Macavity so he wouldn't notice we were talking. I was starting to figure out that Mistoffelees was usually right, and worth listening to.

_Yes, you can. Just go. Go now. _

_But what about y- _

_JUST GO NOW!_ he thought-screamed in my head.

Too shocked to argue, I closed my eyes and thought with all my might that I was back, safe and sound, in Misto's pipe. I thought hard that this was all over, it was time to go home now. I was terrified when nothing happened at first, but little by little, the fizz of my magic filled my body and granted my wish. When I opened my eyes, there was Tantomile, ready to catch my first sneeze with a tissue.

I sat up on the ground, sneezing for what seemed like hours, too choked to say anything to the psychic cats around me. Then I noticed that Exotica was next to me, sitting up, and sneezing as well. When I finally had the voice to say it, the first words out of my mouth were, "Why are you sneezing?"

Poor Exotica was sneezing too hard to answer, so Coricopat stepped in. "When you came back, you were still holding her. You unconsciously brought her back with you. When you take another cat out, whatever normally happens to you will happen to them, too."

"Oh, that's a relief," I sighed. But then common sense took over, and out of nowhere I screamed, "Mistoffelees is still in there!! We have to get him out!!"

Imagine my surprise when no one did anything (though Exotica did stop sneezing and sat still). "C'mon, guys!" I urged. "We have to go back in and get him out! Who knows what Macavity could be doing to him right now?!"

"We do," the twins chorused.

I couldn't believe it. They knew what was happening, and yet they didn't want to try to save him. "Well, what are they doing?" I asked, figuring knowing something was better than sitting around and doing nothing.

"Mistoffelees knows where most of the other magical cats are," Coricopat said.

Tantomile continued, "Macavity will stop at nothing to get that information out of him. If he could get at any of us..." she trailed off and looked to her brother.

"He'd kill us all," Coricopat finished.

This was rediculous. "Well, that's all the more reason for us to go rescue him!" I screamed.

Coricopat and Tantomile sighed in unison. "There's nothing we can do. None of us can face Macavity. He's too powerful."

"Bill can do it."

Huh? Where had that come from? I looked around and found that I had yet again forgotten that Exotica was there. She stood between me and the twins, looking defiant. "Bill is strong enough to fight Macavity," she said to them, the words dripping from her mouth.

The twins raised their eyebrows, but said nothing. I was confused until I realized that they were speaking to Exotica telepathically. Well, I thought. That wasn't very nice, leaving me out of the conversation. I was so annoyed that I tried to listen in on their thoughts.

_You swore to Mistoffelees that you would not tell him._ I heard them say. _That was a delicate matter that he was going to handle himself. _

_Well it doesn't matter now!_ Exotica thought-screamed back. Rage was building on her face. _He's stuck in there! Bill's the only one who can get him out! We have to try!_ She put her paws on her hips defiantly. _If we don't do anything, Macavity will find out where all us magical cats are. Do you have any better ideas? _

_Yes, we do,_ they said, and turned their attention to the ground next to me. I looked in that direction, and to my horror I remembered that Mistoffelees' body was still with us. They were going to do something to his body to keep him from talking! They were probably going to kill him!

"NO!" I shrieked. "You can't do it! There has to be something else we can do!"

Exotica turned to me. Her face was lit up with excitement. "You can go in and get him! You're the one!"

"One what?" I inquired. (I know I was ruining the moment, but I didn't particularly care.)

"You're the one magical cat Macavity kidnapped two years ago!" she practically yelled in my face. She really was getting pretty worked up. "You mastered lighting in one afternoon, right?" she asked. I nodded. She went on: "Mistoffelees wasn't going to tell you this, but it took him years to master his power. I've been practicing for years and I still haven't mastered mine. How do you think you got out of Macavity's dampener when even Mistoffelees himself couldn't? You can save him. You can do this. I believe in you."

She looked right into my eyes when she said it. "I believe in you." At that moment, it was like all I had been working up to in the last few days had blossomed within me. All of a sudden, I _knew_ I was the most powerful cat. The most powerful cat that had ever lived. I could do this. I could get Mistoffelees out. Not only that, but I was going to be able to get out all of the other cats who had been wrongfully imprisoned by that villain. I was going to do it.

"I believe you."

With total confidence, I turned to Coricopat and Tantomile and said, "I'm going in whether you like it or not. So deal with it." Then I lied down on the ground and closed my eyes, preparing to perform that feat of magic that would allow me to enter a world far away. But something stopped me. Opening my eyes, I found that it was Exotica's paw on my shoulder. "You can't be touching me when I go in," I scolded her.

"I'm going in with you."

Whoa. That was a shock. I tried to protest: "But Macavity is too powerful! He'll –"

"Don't worry," she said as she put a paw over my mouth. Then she disappeared before my very eyes. "He can't catch me," she uttered, still camouflaged by magic.

There was no use arguing. I could probably use her help, anyway. "All right, hang on," I muttered, and before she knew it we were there.

In the catrix.

Opening my eyes, I found that we were right back where this whole mess began. In my room. Well, my human room, that is. Not that it helped. I had no idea where Macavity had taken Mistoffelees, if he had taken him anywhere. "Where would he be?" I asked Exotica.

It was a good thing I had brought her with me. She answered, "Macavity would have brought him to one of his warehouses. We're not sure why, but that's what he does every time he captures another cat. We think he may have torture equipment hidden there, or something." She scanned the room. "Uh, Bill? Where are we?"

Oh, duh. She had never been into my house in the catrix. "We're in my room. This is where I lived as a human," I announced pleasantly, as if there were nothing important going on. I was really hoping she'd compliment my computer. Human girls always did.

"Oh," she said, like she was refraining from saying something a little less pleasant. Darn. Cats must not have been into computers. "So then, let's go!"

"Just lead the way," I commanded (somewhat reluctantly) as we hopped out the window and into the night air. (Apparently, Mistoffelees had been right about the time thing. Hours must have passed in the catrix during those few minutes we spent in the real world.)

As soon as Exotica and I glimpsed the scene inside Macavity's warehouse through an old broken window, we both recoiled. Mistoffelees was a mess. Macavity must have been torturing him, with magic and otherwise, to get him to reveal the locations of the other magical cats. From the looks of things, he hadn't given in yet. "We need a plan," Exotica whispered to me.

"Right," I answered. Peeping into the window again, I tried to formulate one. Mistoffelees was tied to and sitting in a plain wooden chair in the center of the room, and Macavity was circling around him saying something I couldn't hear. There was a door on the wall adjacent to the one with our window, and it seemed to lead to the outside. The entire room was piled high with storage boxes, enough that any thing else in the room was obscured from sight. They made some pretty good shadows, too. Maybe good enough to...

"Exotica?" I said. "Do you think you could get in there and untie him? Then I could distract Macavity, and while he's not looking, you two can sneak out!"

She smiled crookedly. "No problem," she murmured. "Going unnoticed is my specialty." And with that, I saw her no more. I felt her, though. I felt the warmth of her fur glide past me and into the broken window, and I felt like I was with her as she slinked across the floor. True to her word, Macavity took no notice of her, and when he was on the other side of Mistoffelees with his back turned to him, she silently undid the ties on Mistoffelees' wrists and ankles. If Mistoffelees noticed, he didn't say anything. I thought then that maybe it would be prudent to let him in on our little plan.

_Misto? It's me, Bill._

No response.

_Mistoffelees, can you hear me?_

He moaned a little from the pain of his torture, but still no response.

_Exotica, can you hear me?_ (I thought maybe something was wrong with me.)

At least Exotica could answer. Yeah, Bill. What is it? She was still crouched behind the chair, rotating every so often so as to always keep it between her and Macavity as he paced around Misto.

_Mistoffelees can't hear me._

_It must be the dampener. _

_Oh, yeah, huh_. Duh! Some magical cat I was! Changing the subject, I thought, Well, I'm going to have to distract Macavity, and when he's not looking, grab Misto and make a run for the door.

_Got it. I'm ready when you are_. she thought back.

It was up to me now. I was beginning to waver, but then Exotica's words from only a few minutes ago penetrated my mind. "I believe in you." Taking courage in hand, er, paw (I was never going to get used to cat anatomy), I climbed in the window as silently as I could.

Unfortunately, it wasn't silent enough.

Macavity turned to me and announced, "Ah, Bill! What took you so long? I was beginning to think you would never show!" Why the #$ did he have to be so cheerful all the time? He went on: "Mistoffelees here has been quite the agreeable guest, but our little party isn't complete without you." His eyes scrunched up, and the corners of his mouth turned upwards. It took me a moment to realize he was smiling. "You see, Bill, I've been waiting for this day for so long."

I thought I should take advantage of his seemingly chatty mood to allow Exotica and Misto the chance to escape. "Oh really?" I replied, trying to sound confident. "Did you think I was _gone_? Did you think I had _disappeared_?"

Over Macavity's shoulder I saw that Exotica had taken the hint and extended her power to make Mistoffelees invisible as well. I _really_ hoped they were heading for the door. I was so absorbed in making sure they were all right that I missed Macavity's next words. All I heard was something like, "...my whole life. And now that I know which one it is, I can finally do it!"

"Do what?" I queried cooly.

"KILL YOU!!" Macavity shrieked and came charging toward me. (When was I going to learn that curiosity killed the cat!?)

Needless to say, that got my attention. I waited until he was almost upon me, then teleported across the room. I was feeling so proud of myself for that little magic maneuver that I didn't notice that Macavity had teleported himself and was standing right behind me. My first clue was that I couldn't see him anywhere, but then I felt a gentle breathing on my neck. Like a fool I turned around just in time to get a good look at Macavity's fist as it came in contact with my face.

"Ow," I muttered from the floor. But there was no time to nurse my bloody nose. In an instant I was on my feet again and preparing to throw lightning at Macavity. I waited until he was in a crouching stance, waiting for me to charge, then ZAP! I thought I had paralyzed him into a crouching position on the floor, but the idea was fleeting. The next moment Macavity was standing up, smiling. "Oh, come now," he uttered. "You know it won't hurt me." He made a tsk-tsk sound. "You're going to have to do better than that!"

Boy was I ever.

Now I was really mad, and in a blind rage, I leapt at the Napoleon of Crime, claws extended and ready to tear chunks out of whatever I got my paws at. Macavity was ready, and when I landed on him, we went at each other tooth and nail. Right-punch! Left-kick! Watch out for his tail! Bite his neck! Wow, he had a lot of hair!

For a while, I thought I was winning, but then Macavity landed a kick to my ribs that sent me flying. I landed on my rear about ten feet away from him. Okay, that was it for my physical strength, I thought to myself as I sat there for a moment, panting. Macavity was obviously the better fighter (after all, he had been a cat much longer than I had). But I was going to have to do something soon. He was stalking towards me. It was then that I noticed that the packing boxes all around us were stacked four and five boxes high. Big boxes, too. If I could just get a stack of those to come down on him, I would win the fight! But I was going to have to distract him, or else he'd get out of the way before they could fall.

Suddenly, I had an idea. "Hey, fuzz-head!" I taunted. "What happened to Mistoffelees?"

I smirked as he responded, "You dolt, he's right –"

The next word out of his mouth would have been "here," but he had seen the chair, now empty, sitting in the middle of the room amongst the discarded ropes that he had used to tie up the tuxedo cat. He then whipped his head over to the door which had been left open in Exotica's haste to clear the warehouse.

I took this opportunity to reach out with my power to get a good grip on the stack of boxes only about three feet away from him, and as soon as his attention wavered from the door, I pulled with all my might. The last I saw of him was an expression of disbelief that he had been defeated. Then BOOM! Giant cardboard boxes full of bricks or something came crashing down on him.

And that was the last anyone ever saw of the Hidden Paw.

I knew I should have gotten out of there real quick and rejoined Misto and Exotica and everyone back in the real world, but I had to stop a minute to catch my breath. I had exhuasted all of my physical and magical strength fighting Macavity, and boy had it been worth it. He would never terrorize anyone again, and now Misto and I could get to work getting the other six cats out of the catrix. It would be easy now that we didn't have to worry about watching out for Macavity all the time. Now all the other magical cats could come out of hiding, too! Mistoffelees would be so happy.

Cheered up by this idea a little, I closed my eyes and thought of my body, and waited for the fizz of magic to fill through me and grant whatever I desired. Sure enough, fizz it did, and in a few moments I slipped right back into my body.

The catrix would have much more fun without the sneezing, though.

After sneezing until I thought I would have a nosebleed, I could finally open my eyes and make sure I was where I was supposed to be. There, gathered around me, stood all the cats I had become close to: Mistoffelees, Coricopat, Tantomile, and most importantly, _Exotica_. Lying there, surrounded by friends, I felt so comfortable that I could slip into slumber and never wake up.

Actually, that's pretty close to what I did do. I fell asleep on the spot, exhausted from the battle and the demands on my power.

When I finally awoke one night, I felt like I had been asleep for days. I was back in that little old cardboard box, staring up at the stars, and starting to wonder if most of it had been a dream, when I heard a familiar rustle near me. Suddenly excited, I murmured, "Exotica, is that you?"

Sure enough, when she stepped into the light, there she was, in all her splendor. She had never looked so beautiful, so radiant. But before I could tell her any of that, I had to know something.

"Exotica, please tell me it wasn't all a dream!"

She smiled crookedly. "And what would you do if it was?" she mused.

"Go back to sleep!" I growled. Getting up on my knees, I grabbed her in my arms and pulled her down to lie next to me. There, in that box, under the stars, we were locked together, lips, bodies, and magic, as one.

_The End?_

* * *

Thanks to everyone who's reviewed so far!! Reviews are always appreciated! And be sure to check out deleted scenes. D


	2. Deleted Scenes

A/N: I know that deleted scenes are not a normal part of fan fiction, but I save some of my ideas that don't end up in the story, especially the ones I think are too funny to simply hit backspace and delete forever, so I have them for you to see. Besides, movies like the matrix wouldn't are made much better when you can see behind the scenes and deleted scenes stuff. So enjoy! (_little intros are in italics)._

* * *

_here's Bill asking another stupid question:_

"One more thing," I said as we were walking through the junkyard. "You said Mistoffelees is your second name. What's the deal with that?"

He smiled evily and began to chant: "The naming of cats is a difficult matter, it isn't just one of your holiday games...." and proceded to recite this long and involved poem that had something to do with lots of names (I think I even heard my name in there somewhere). When he had finished, he looked at me like he expected me to applaud.

All I could say was, "I still don't get it."

* * *

_I couldn't resist another Pouncival/Pokeball gag:_  
  
Those two ANNOYING cats had found me again. Not wanting to be too rude this time, I said, "Hi......guys." (I still didn't know their names)

One turned to Pokeball and said, "Pouncival, I don't think he knows your name."

Pokeball/Pouncival replied, "Oh, yeah, I bet he does! Hey, Bill, what's my name?"

I considered for a moment, then said, "Pouncival?"

"Told ya!" Pouncival announced. They walked away, one feeling dejected, and Pokeball (or Pouncival, I guess) still showing off that he was right.

* * *

_Yet another stupid question: (this one was deleted because it became explained in a more "in context" way)_

"Uh, Misto?" I asked. "If I brought another non-magical cat into the catrix, what would happen to them when we come out."

Mistoffelees took a deep breath and said, "Whatever happens to you will happen to them."

"So they would - "

"Yeah, they would sneeze."

* * *

_And another stupid question:_

"Misto?" I asked, "When I came back to the tunnel after my, erm, encounter, with Jenny and Jelly, you said I was cleaner. How could they get me cleaner? They didn't have any water in the car or anything."

He grimaced for a moment. "Well, remember how, when you were a human in the catrix, you always thought I really liked the taste of my fur, and that's why I licked myself all the time?"

"Yeah."

"That was cleaning."

I let this sink in for a moment, then screamed, "YUCK!"

* * *

_This one is an alternate line of when Bill is trying to get out of the catrix on his own for the first time:_

Well, if my body wanted to reconnect with my mind, it shouldn't be too hard, right? Right. I closed my eyes and thought of nothing but being back in my body. When I felt something happen, I opened my eyes, expecting to be back in the pipe with Coricopat and Tantomile. Much to my dismay, I was still in the park, though everything was about three times smaller, and people were staring at me. That wasn't supposed to happen (or at least, I didn't think it was supposed to happen.

I looked around for Misto, to try to get him to explain why I wasn't back yet, but he was nowhere to be seen! I was still looking around when a small meow interrupted my searching efforts. I peered downward. There at my feet, on all fours, stood my little Quaxo!

"Quaxo! Where have you been? I haven't seen you in so long!" I picked him up and held him in my arms.

Wait a minute, the more rational side of my brain said. Wasn't Quaxo really Mistoffelees?

I pondered over this a moment, then held out the black and white cat to get a better look at him.

He seemed annoyed (if that was possible for a cat.)

"Maybe I didn't make myself clear," Quaxo/Mistoffelees muttered. "You were supposed to think of your cat body."

"Huh?" I said and looked at myself.

YIKES!

Not only had I unconsciously turned into human form, but I had done it without creating any clothes!


End file.
